Meeting #25 Best Speech - 'Seringgit'

Speech Title: Seringgit

Speaker: Suhana Sidik, CC

Any of these sights looks familiar? What about the certificate bearing the Jabatan Kebajikan masyarakat logo? Have anyone approached you with these certs as a supporting document?

What I like most about my country Malaysia and what I must be proud the most about being Malaysian is the fact that we may be skimpy on paying the tolls, parking ticket, that extra tips to the waitresses or some (ehem) even resort to stealing the papers and magazines from the office, but we always have the extra seringgit to give away (show money).

But why do we do it?

If you ask any girls in the room, our answer may be too simple. It is what we call ‘Right at Your Face’ syndrome. We are just a fragile creature with a generous soul. We can’t bear the sight of a blind pakcik, or kids in shabby clothing or those poor souls who lost an arm or leg. It just melts our heart away. Besides, we spend more than 1 ringgit to buy chocolates anyway, so why not do something good with it?

But what’s the excuse with guys?
Wait. Have you noticed that beggars don’t normally go and approach a group of boys, especially the smokers type. These people would rather save that 1 ringgit on 2 more cigarettes than actually give you any money. But that is not the case if you approach a group of guys with a pretty lady in the group. Ok, beggar alert from 50 m away. You know boys tend to be competitive right? Out they compete to see who can reach out fastest to their wallet in the hope that she would go ahh at the sight of your kind generosity to help the disadvantage. Ladies trust me, some boys are just a show off!

And there are just tonnes of reason why I think Malaysian is a generous bunch!

So yes, we are trying hard to eliminate the so called ‘Poor-Index’. In our heart, everyone wants to try and be a super hero. So yeah, if we don’t have Hiro Nakamura’s power, let’s reach into the wallet and be our very own modern Robin Hood. We steal from our very own pocket in order to give other people what we think they deserve.

But let me tell you here that it doesn’t work that way.

The beggars that you see here in Malaysia is no ordinary beggar. Instead, they are intelligent beggars or what I would call ‘intgar’. These ‘intgar’ would offer you tissues, stickers and tonnes of other things in exchange for your seringgit. And why do you have to give in to their demand at all times?

Do you notice that the more you give, the list of ‘intgar’ multiplies rapidly. Have you noticed that if you have lunch in Wisma Central for example, within that 1 hour, there would be 2 ‘intgars’ coming to your group screaming for seringgit. Sometime, you would ease your way reaching into your wallet and at times, you would nod and shooh them away. And here I am, recommending that ALL of you present here to do the latter.

Nowadays with the many ‘intgar’ in Malaysia, how do you differentiate between an ordinary beggar with disadvantage, with another intelligent beggar?
And if you are really a generous bunch, why don’t you go through the proper channel? That would probably be a more tax effective way of donating your money away.

Have you ever imagine the irony of these ‘intgar’ and their guide. Their so-called job of an ‘intgar’ is to beg for money, and the guide is to bring these ‘intgar’ around from tables to tables. Look at the condition of the guide. These guides are those perfectly normal human being much like you, with two perfectly working eyes, hands, legs and at times, they look more healthy than you are. Yet, they are working for another lesser capable human being, the pakcik buta as the boss. Just imagine how much the blind pakcik or makcik is earning to be able to pay for the guide, and still make enough money to support his/her own lifestyle.

And for lifestyle, I do mean A LIFESTYLE. Some is capable enough to earn thousand of ringgit to even afford a Honda Civic to drive home everyday. Some would walk with a limp using their cane to Hartamas, and leave away with a brand new Honda Civic everynight with their leg suddenly perfectly healed (yes, true story seen with this very own eyes). Well, that’s how seringgit help improve their lifestyle ... by a mountain.

Imagine this. Seringgit in 2 minutes per table equal to thirty ringgit in one hour. You beg for five hours a day and you get 150 ringgit per day. Multiply that with 20 working days and you get 3K per month, and that is just the basic so called ‘salary’. And you’ve never accounted for the extra overtime, and multiple seringgit per table and etc2. It does sound tempting actually, a probable business venture.

But let’s inject common sense into it.

Please don’t fall into the seringgit scheme, which is much like a Ponzi scheme. Use the legal channel to donate away your money. Seringgit, though maybe small to you may accumulate to a lot more if there are even 10% of the people in this room are guilty of donating their money away. Do not support this seringgit business. Say No to these Intgar.

So L&G, now, what do you do if the ‘intgar’ come and approach you? :p

BEST SPEECH MEETING #19: Enemy, Stranger or Intimate

She certainly had the edge, and you can tell that she is a natural speaker. She has evolved well throughout her toastmaster experience, and i must say, we have always been impressed by her style of speaking, and the humor she injected to her speech. Congrats TM Siti Aishah. Way to go.
Let's look at her speech structure from the last winning

Note: TM Siti Aishah was the winner from DDYPC TMC Meeting #19.
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Enemy, Stranger or Intimate
A speech by Siti Aishah
Project Speech #5: Your Body Speaks

A man asked his wife, “Darling, where do you want to go for our anniversary?” It warms his heart to see her face melts in sweet appreciation. “Hmm... somewhere I haven’t been for a long time,” she said. He suggested, “How about the kitchen?” and that’s when the fight started.

Toastmaster of the day, fellow toastmasters and honored guests.

Creating intimacy or starting a fight is often just a matter of a few sentences and sometimes a word. In every conversation actually you can choose to fight with your partner and change them into an enemy or avoid you partner and change him into a stranger or to confide in them and trust them and change your partner into an intimate. The differences between these three approaches are enormous. So today, I will explain to you how you can use these three options in your life with your partner.

Option 1: the wife sat down on the couch next to the husband who was flipping the channels on TV. She asked, “What’s on TV?” He replied without even looking at her, “Dust!” Since in this option you want to change your partner into an enemy, you should start to shout. “You are the lazy one. You never help out around the house!” This will likely start a fight and it can ensure a hot and blazing arguments. Both sides are trying to win by either attacking or defending. It can become worse when you start to reach those innocent things around you and make them fly towards your partner. Thus, an enemy is created.

Now we move on to option 2. What is the first thing your mother taught you about stranger? Yes… do not talk to strangers. So imagine scenario 2. You are at your husband’s office party. It seems to you that your partner is spending a great amount of time talking to his new secretary. You were left alone next to the buffet table. How do you want to handle this situation? So, on the ride home in the car, be very silent. When he asks, “What’s wrong dear?” you can reply, “Nothing. I’m just tired” or totally ignoring him, look out through the window, pretend you do not hear the question and hum your favorite song! Now you have successfully avoided a conflict but you also turn your partner into someone who doesn’t know you really well, a stranger.

For option 3, let say you husband is having his guys’ night out be it watching EPL at mamak’s stall or playing futsal, it doesn’t matter, but he does this almost every night. You were left at home alone, feeling sad and lonely. So, when he comes home that night, what should you do? Remember this is option 3. You shouldn’t scream at him like “You always spend your time with your friends. Why don’t you marry them instead!” or you should not totally ignore him when he enters the door. What you should do is confide in them and tell them how you really feel. Something like, “I sat here feeling sorry to myself. I know you need your guys, but my social life isn’t as happening as yours right now. It can be really lonely. Can you spend more time with me?” Once you open up and tell your partner how you are really feeling, you actually turning your partner into a support system, an intimate.

After being married for almost five years, I know we must choose option 3. Actually I have applied those three options in different stages of our marriage. Since my husband also aware of these options, he sometimes says to me, “honey, please don’t use option 2” when I ignore him at times which I’m really good at. But I can assure you that option 3, to confide, trust and say how we feel is like the solution to all possible problem that may arise in front of you. In order to have this confiding conversation we have to trust that our partner will support us when we let our guard down and show our vulnerability. Also, we have to feel entitled to what we are feeling. We entitle to be jealous; we entitle to have someone to help around the house. If not, we are ashamed to reveal those feeling and choose to avoid or attack. Uncover your feeling, unmask your vulnerability and unravel your emotion.

So, as a conclusion, learn by heart if you want a great relationship with your partner, you got to choose. Are you going to start a fight, avoid the whole thing or take your partner into your confidence? Whatever you choose, you are also choosing the corresponding action – turning you partner into an enemy or a stranger or an intimate.